Bad Daddy and Mean Mommy come as a match set

When did bathing become such a despicable thing? In her nearly 9 years, my daughter has gone thru some brief moments in her young life where she would balk at the notion of getting clean. But lately, that is, for the last year (give or take a few weeks), she has RESISTED with all her little might this thing that I enjoy, as well as others-the bath. OK, she's 8, she showers. She is told to get in the tub, which involves the grown-up version. But she fights me tooth and nail on this single seemingly menial task. She fights me, she fights her dad, she fights any adult who tells her she must. We get hit in the face with a very hearty "WHYEEEEEEEEEEE?" or "I just took a bath YESTERDAY!" which is 99.5% untrue-usually it's been at least one FULL day in between today and her last bath. I don't have a problem with her avoiding when it's been cold, or rainy and she hasn't gone outside, or she hasn't done anything in particular that would cause her to break a sweat in any way. But, when I pick her up with disheveled hair, sweaty at the roots, her back is moist with perspiration, I must insist on some soap and water. I know full well when the last day she bathed was, yet she insists I'm wrong and keeps pushing me. Mostly I find it humorous, which makes it even more difficult until the point of breaking then I just get aggravated and then flat out mad. And when she finally relents (and usually does-Mom has an iron will), she STOMPS up the stairs, slamming doors and objects on her way, which btw, usually takes a full 15 minute interlude of abstract busy-ness before we hear the rushing of water thru the pipes. Usually when met with this sort of resistance, I am in the house alone with her, her daddy being at work. No problem. I don't usually have a problem eventually getting her to bend to my wishes. I am, afterall, the parent here-No shoeprints on my back. (Update-I hear the water! It's only been 5!) I hate having to make BJ be the badguy, but it's just so damn effective. BJ showed her "Bad Daddy" a year or so ago when we were getting this type of resistance and she was pushing even farther. Bad Daddy reared and scared her. No, nothing happened to warrant a phone call to 911 or CPS, but she saw in her daddy's eyes as he got in her face just how much he meant business. Now all it takes is the mere mention of bad daddy and she's off and running. I hope Bad Daddy's credit holds firm with her. Well, today, I tried to call BJ, meeting the voicemail, I texted him. Asked him to tell her that Sunday was the last day she got a bath. A single word would have sufficed... I got the following (verbatim) "BAD DADDY SAYS LISTEN 2 YOUR MOM! SHOWER NOW!" Thank you, Bad Daddy. It wasn't much help, but it shows her that Bad Daddy and Mean Mommy come as a match set. Bad Daddy and Mean Mommy talk. I mean REALLY T-A-L-K. We talk about her. If we disagree on something disciplinary, we do not (or try not) to make it known in her presence. I have always felt that he and I have to be a united front where our child(ren?) is concerned. It's been a mission of mine, when she tries to play us off each other, to keep the even keel. I have seen how an un-united couple can really be fucked down the line when dealing with their kids.

I have seen it in my own family, and laughed behind my sister's back when she gets her kids to do NOTHING for her. The 2nd of her 4 sees that she is lazy, and apparently has called her out, telling her to get a job. The younger 2 are in grade school, so there's no reason she COULDN'T, she just won't. When her kid tried to play me for a sucker, I didn't back down, and took away from him (at my house anyway) the one thing that he wanted-television. He didn't know how to deal with that and kept trying to plead with me to let him watch this one movie he had his eye on. Whether he finally got to see it or not, he didn't watch it at MY house while he was visiting.

Back to my own little problem... Syd is a GREAT kid. She's happy, loving, SMART, thoughtful, and oh so sweet. She thinks of others, not just herself, though in a pinch she'll win over others in her realm. She is empathetic, and helpful. Except at bath time. That is the SINGLE hardest she pushes back... Even homework isn't hard to get her to complete, though if I mention she's made an error, she SNATCHES the page out of my hand-which bothers the HELL out of me. We're working on it. She has some interrupting issues to work on, too, she's in no way perfection. But all in all, she's a very well behaved child. I love her like crazy and wouldn't trade her for anything, but dammit, the girl gets stinky! As for me, I wouldn't trade my daily shower for anything either....

it could have been Rats Asshole

People suck. Ok, not all people, but a vast majority. Case in point.... last Tuesday. I had remembered that I left my lunch in our team's mini fridge as I was leaving last Friday. On Monday, I forgot and brought more food, but Tuesday morning, I was leaving the house to come to work, and remembered "Hey, I still have that lunch there, so I don't need to bring another today." And that was the last I thought of it.... until I went to lunch and delved into the fridge...NO lunch. My crappy little lean cuisine was GONE. The really shitty part is that it was someone from my TEAM. I don't know who, and I didn't make an issue of it-it's only a crappy frozen meal, and none of my plastic containers lost or whatever. But that meant I had to spend money, and I don't like to have to spend money. So, off I go to the snack shop across the canal from our offices... to Chicken Tetrachloride. Well, tetrazzini, really, but tetrachloride gives the proper description. Bland, not very healthy save for the salad they included in the "meal deal," and not very appetizing. I guess it could be worse, it could have been Rats Asshole, but they had just ran out of that before I got there, I guess. Too bad, it might have tasted better...

...if you look carefully enough, you can see my panties...

**Update 1/2/08.... This was written just a few days PRIOR to my becoming pregnant!! OK, I got the bike, but now I can't freakin' USE IT?? ARGH!!! OK, I'm not THAT upset about the reason, we have been trying for four YEARS... but it's just one of God's little jokes he likes to play.... I'm due in August... Please pray for my sanity! and my waistline!!!



At what point do you solidify your resolve, get your ass off the couch and say "I will not RIP another pair of pants!"?

Well, today is my breaking point. My pants did not rip at the traditional seam, but in the front, next to the pocket. In a seemingly solid pair of jeans. Though, I've had these a year or so, they are cheapies, and not beloved or favorite by any means, just a pair of jeans I wear. Well, here I am at work, talking to a caller, when I look down and DAMMIT... a rip. Not only that, but if you look carefully enough, you can see my panties. Easy, guys, it's not as sexy as it sounds. Luckily for me, you HAVE TO look very carefully, and the color of them is close to my jeans. Also luckily, I have jackets here to cover until I can get home and ditch the ruined pair.

So, the breaking point. Not of the jeans, but of my complacency with my larger-than-I'd-like ass. I'm tired of being tired, of waking up feeling drained, of feeling stressed out all the time. My breaking point actually came a week or so ago, when I learned that I am heavier than someone in my life that I should never have been close to in weight except by maybe 30 or so lbs. This is just God gently reminding me to do something about it.

For my husband who will invariably read this-I am buying a bike. This weekend. I have wanted one for a long time, and I am not picky-the cheap $50 bike at Wally will serve my purpose. It's not like it's an $800 Bianchi at a specialty bike shop. I NEED this. For my health, my self esteem-MY PANTS. I have about 6 pair of pants (maybe more) in my closet that I SHOULD be able to wear, but for my lack of willpower of the last 2 years I have not been able to. I am angry. Not at anyone else other than myself. I have a closetful of cute clothing, and the only thing I can do with them is look at them, and think how cute I will look. Well, there needs to be something done about it, and I'm the only one who has the final word.

I felt AWESOME when I was exercising on an almost daily basis. When I would skip, I would feel like crap. I was waking up on my own almost without an alarm, going to sleep naturally and STAYING asleep, which I had not experienced in years. I LOVED it. I loved the attention my shapely form was getting, which hubby reaped the end benefits from. *wink*

I am now heavier than I was before I started the diet in the first place. So, in one respect, the beraters of the Atkins diet are right... you CAN gain back all and then some of what you lose. The trick-and I firmly believe this-is that you KEEP GOING. It should not be viewed as a DIET, but a lifestyle eating change. Dietary Change. That is all. It's not meant to MAKE YOU SKINNY, it's meant to retrain you to eat right, and ease you back to eating a normal, balanced diet. That is, if you do it right, and stick with it THROUGH the end. I am not certain if I will go on that dietary plan or not yet. But I do recall that the one key to all this that made the difference for me was EXERCISE....

I'm just about out of time for now... I will return...

k, I'm back, I'm at home, happily with my comfort food of a Frapp, which I resolve I will not have again for QUITE some time. Starkist Tuna here I come, right? LOL.

Before I resume my blog, I'd like to warn you that I am feeling more than a little bit sorry for myself at the moment, as there are SO many reasons that this comfort drink is needed...So, I may start to wallow, whine, and feel MORE sorry for myself...

OK, back to my train that was previously derailed.... Exercise. I miss the feeling I had when I was exercising regularly. I LOVED feeling happy more often than sad, I loved feeling energy I forgot I could have, I loved feeling GREAT about the way I looked, as well as that feeling like it was an accomplishable goal, and that I had accomplished a LOT. And I had. I had been at a weight I hadn't seen in 10 years, felt great, looked great, my acne cleared up, No more bags or circles under my eyes.... I didn't realize that exercise wasn't the "four letter word" I had thought it was over the years. The dullness that you imagine from the treadmill.. UGH, no wonder people can't stick to that. Neither could I. Gets too boring, which means I won't do it. I need to get OUT... get to know the streets... first on a bike, then maybe on my inlines, then when I get some of this shit off my butt, I may be able to walk without feeling shitty later.

So, now I must rephrase my previous sentence. I don't WANT a bike, I NEED a bike. For my sanity, for my ass, my LUNGS (asthma sucks).

My self-esteem has met the toilet, it's living there right now, and hates the accomodations (pun intended). Happy Dani would like to come out to play again...